Thanksgiving

Turkey for you, turkey for me, right (Adam Sandler on YouTube)?

Well, this Thanksgiving was wonderful, except for the fact that now I can't sleep.  I guess that's what happens when you stay up until 4:30am the night before trying to finish a jazz theory assignment and pack.  Go figure.

Anyway, I had a great time with my family and my adorable niece and nephew, and it's great to be home.  Tomorrow, we have a mini ten year reunion for my high school, so perhaps I'm just reflecting too much.  In the meantime, I suppose I can use this time to catch up a little. 

Our opera, Don Giovanni, went smashingly well, and we managed to basically fill the house on our closing night, which has never happened before for a fall opera, since they tend to be quite minimalist.  Many thanks to all of my friends, family, and colleagues who managed to find their way out to see our production - hopefully you found it as much of a success as did our Washington Post reviewer.

Personally, I had a wonderful time and learned a lot more than I even expected, about performing, myself, and life in general.  I've become so used to adapting to situations and people that I had almost forgotten the sensation of fully existing as myself, honestly and fully.

Why do we decide to mask ourselves rather than letting the world see us as we truly are?  Is it because we're afraid of the way others judge us, the possibility of sticking out, or the desire to communicate more clearly or put others at ease?  Although I'm sure all of those concerns apply, I often find that my own fears are driven more by my inaccurate and unfair judgments of myself.  After all, who can accurately judge me when I'm too busy cowering behind the disguise created by insecurity?

This Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for the chance I had to spend a few days with a good friend who made me feel much more like myself; yet still as I sit up at night, I'm comparing myself to someone else, feeling less intelligent, less elegant, and less "worthy." 

Clearly, we're all different.  When did we learn to stop embracing those differences and start trying to fit in?  When did I start to believe that my differences made me a lesser person? 

I think it's time for me to be thankful of my quirks, differences, and idiosyncrasies.  Perhaps I'll even find a way to celebrate them tomorrow - at my small reunion.  Here's to the complexity of living in simple honesty.