Late Night Ramblings

Update in Aspen

Well, it's nice to see that in the midst of so much change in my life, some things never change.  I still miss the people I shouldn't and not all of the people I should.  I suppose it's getting better though - thanks to all of my loving friends and their grace in my life.

Anywho - time for a very new update.  The big news has been that I am no longer planning an immediate move to LA.  For the moment, it's been indefinitely postponed because I'll be singing in the Metropolitan Opera extra chorus next year.  I'll be singing in 3 operas, including War and Peace, Peter Grimes, and Otello.  For those of you who don't know about opera, these contracts are a rare opportunity, and I'm looking forward to finally moving to NYC.  I may have even gotten over the fact that I'll have to suffer through yet another winter in the northeast.  :)

In the meantime, I am SO enjoying Colorado.  I've been here for little more than a week, and I'm already booked for 2 concerts and a church job, and I've met some GREAT people.  Of course, they're mostly hanging out on facebook, so may be I'll start blogging there - who knows?!  The mountains are amazing, the family I live with is kind and generous, and the festival itself is a lot of fun so far. 

Being here puts a lot into perspective - good and bad.  Personally, I think that means I'm in the best place I could be for the summer.  Anyway, that's my news.  I hope you're all doing supremely well - you all are truly in my heart here.

Relocation Insanity

Whew!!!

I'm not quite sure how to do this, apparently - finish my master's degree while planning a move out to LA, via Aspen and Las Vegas.  I had to take a minute out to write, a minute away from selling my french horn, trying to recover my deposit from my old landlord, finding a sublet for my room for the summer, etc, etc, etc.  I haven't even begun to pack, and I have two concerts between now and my graduation a month from today.

A month from today?  Only two weeks after that, I pick up and take nothing familiar with me except clothes, a few odds and ends, my stuffed monkey, and my car.  For two months, I'll be spending the summer in Aspen, CO, singing and enjoying the mountains with 4 friends and a lot of strangers. 

Thanks to my dearest friends Cassandra and Geoff, I won't have to leave the overwhelming expense of Aspen and directly try to make life work in LA.  After Aspen, I'll head out to Las Vegas, where I'll live with Geoff, Cassandra, Spot, Ginger, and Paco (their three adorable doggies), until I can get myself a little out of the hole I'm digging financially and hopefully find myself a job and a place to live in Burbank, CA.

Then, it's off to LA.  To live, to work, to audition - and hopefully, to act and sing.  How do I feel about leaving EVERYTHING I know?  I'm not sure I'm fully digesting it yet.  Last night, I tried to imagine life across the country from the overwhelming majority of my family and friends.  Realizing that most of my closest friendships were born and nurtured over the past 2-5 years, I'm starting to imagine that perhaps I don't need to worry so much.  I will miss my friends and family, but there are always airplanes, cell phones, and email.  Besides, I would never have known some of my most amazing friends had I not moved to Maryland less than 2 years ago with less than 3 weeks' notice. 

I have done this before, just not on such a grand scale so far away.  Does that make it harder?  May be.  Does that mean I can't do it?  No way.

Happy holidays 2006!

Happy Holidays, everyone!!

This has been a crazy year.  Some great successes, amidst the standard sea of rejection that comes with my profession, have left me longing for some security, admittedly.  Like most Americans, my finances are a mess, and I truly have no idea what I'm going to do yet when I've achieved my master's degree in May. 

But - I can't wait to perform with the Opera Studio in April, in a CRAZY production of Transformations (based on the poetry of Anne Sexton - do not bring children!), and I'm looking forward to singing some Handel in May with Philomusica up in Jersey. 

Inspired by my upcoming appearance in booty shorts in Transformations, I'm training to run a theoretical half marathon and about to leave for the gym.  :) 

Before I leave, I have to add, I'm very happy.  Although I listened to some great advice (both intentionally and accidentally) by staying away from serious relationships for a year, I just started seeing a wonderful new person I ran into from high school.  Many thanks to Amy Schlessinger for orchestrating our mini-reunion over Thanksgiving that made it possible to see him again.  I've had a fantastic holiday with my family as always, and I'm about to leave for Florida to visit the coolest man I know, my Pop-Pop.  I will be away for two weeks.  :)  I'm sure my buddy Nick and I will have a smashing New Year's Eve while I'm there. 

Happy New Year everyone!  May the next year be just as blessed, slightly more certain, and even more fun.  :) 

Real Friends

Apparently, I'm on a blogging kick, which is a bit of a feat in and of itself, since I don't have Internet access at my house.  I love generous people in large neighborhoods who don't password protect their wireless networks.  :) 

I've had a bit of time lately driving all over the Mid-Atlantic region for Thanksgiving and auditions, and I've been thinking about friends and how great they are. 

Real friends

-Admit they need you from time to time

-Are there for you when you truly need them

-Share the ugliest parts of themselves and yourself, as well as the most beautiful things the world and you both have to offer

-Communicate - honestly

-Call about the stupid little things because they think of you in their normal life

-Never stifling, happily catch up when time has passed, but never abandon you in a time of need

-Listen and share

-Challenge you while encouraging the things that make you you

-Never posess

-Try not to push too hard, even if they're right

-Never abuse

-Never give up

-Never lie

My real friends are my family.  I'm amazed at how many of them I have.  I need you, I love you, and I wouldn't want to live life without your presence, your perspectives, and your love.  I spent some time talking to a very real friend the other day who reminded me how much of a better person I am for the beautiful people in my life.  Thank you.

Reunion

Lessons quickly learned at a reunion:

1. Don't buy a stranger a drink.

2. It's always incredibly possible that the folks you hoped might show up will.

3. There's nothing wrong with dancing and having a great time with a fun girl to keep the creepy guys off.

4.  The bartender at Posh makes the best Red Death I've ever had.

5.  Good friends know how to drive your car home.  :)  Thanks, Lou. 

And thanks to Amy, Kelly, and Chris, who seemed to be the ones responsible for my good time tonight.  :)  Love you guys.   Let's not wait another 10 years.

Thanksgiving

Turkey for you, turkey for me, right (Adam Sandler on YouTube)?

Well, this Thanksgiving was wonderful, except for the fact that now I can't sleep.  I guess that's what happens when you stay up until 4:30am the night before trying to finish a jazz theory assignment and pack.  Go figure.

Anyway, I had a great time with my family and my adorable niece and nephew, and it's great to be home.  Tomorrow, we have a mini ten year reunion for my high school, so perhaps I'm just reflecting too much.  In the meantime, I suppose I can use this time to catch up a little. 

Our opera, Don Giovanni, went smashingly well, and we managed to basically fill the house on our closing night, which has never happened before for a fall opera, since they tend to be quite minimalist.  Many thanks to all of my friends, family, and colleagues who managed to find their way out to see our production - hopefully you found it as much of a success as did our Washington Post reviewer.

Personally, I had a wonderful time and learned a lot more than I even expected, about performing, myself, and life in general.  I've become so used to adapting to situations and people that I had almost forgotten the sensation of fully existing as myself, honestly and fully.

Why do we decide to mask ourselves rather than letting the world see us as we truly are?  Is it because we're afraid of the way others judge us, the possibility of sticking out, or the desire to communicate more clearly or put others at ease?  Although I'm sure all of those concerns apply, I often find that my own fears are driven more by my inaccurate and unfair judgments of myself.  After all, who can accurately judge me when I'm too busy cowering behind the disguise created by insecurity?

This Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for the chance I had to spend a few days with a good friend who made me feel much more like myself; yet still as I sit up at night, I'm comparing myself to someone else, feeling less intelligent, less elegant, and less "worthy." 

Clearly, we're all different.  When did we learn to stop embracing those differences and start trying to fit in?  When did I start to believe that my differences made me a lesser person? 

I think it's time for me to be thankful of my quirks, differences, and idiosyncrasies.  Perhaps I'll even find a way to celebrate them tomorrow - at my small reunion.  Here's to the complexity of living in simple honesty.

Enjoying the job

This weekend was one more reminder of how much I've let the craziness that has become my life become my life.  I finally sat back and enjoyed the day with my best friend Cassandra and her family.  In the meantime, I realized how much I miss Jersey, all of my friends (yes, even the ones here in DC, VA, and MD that I never get to see!), and enjoying singing! 

I'm so busy getting ready for the opera and auditions (say a prayer - I have a big one this Friday), that I've had to be a bit of a hermit, and I have no time to catch up on friendships, even from email!  Singing's been even a difficult task nowadays, with half of my little opera world trying to convert me to a soprano. 

For a brief moment last week, I got to hang out with Gabe, Carl, Paul, and Cassandra, and it reminded me why I'm alive.  I just hope that in this quest for the career I've always wanted, I find the time and voice to sit and talk with the people who make my life worth living.  To all of my friends and family who I don't tell nearly often enough - I love you guys.   

Craziness

I have been so crazy!!!  Sorry I haven't posted in a while, but things are as good as they are busy right now. 

I'm back in a fall semester at my wonderful school, finishing up my master's and getting ready to audition for everybody and their grandmother for this summer and the future.  I LOVE my classmates, as always, and I've found myself a few extra niches to make myself even busier, including some concerts with Bel Cantanti this month and a tribute to Francois Loup next month, before I finally settle into doing Zerlina in Don Giovanni in November.  Translation?  A lot of opera.  :)

The coolest thing that's happened recently was the master class I sang in Saturday with Marilyn Horne.  I heard she spent an hour working with me (I really couldn't tell how long it was), and she gave me some wonderful things to think about and fix.  She said I had a beautiful voice, and I really enjoyed working with her and seeing my colleagues work with her too.  My friends Jim and Darren got some nice feedback from her as well, and they sounded fantastic.  :)  Best of all, I got to see my old friend Sue, her personal assistant.  We so need to hang out soon! 

So anyway, things are going crazy, but I'm doing so well.  And no, I'm not getting a lot of money from any of this.  I just keep having to tell myself, baby steps, baby steps.  In the meantime though, here's today's Washington Post review! of the concert I sang in on Friday with Bel Cantanti.  We'll be singing at the French Embassy on Friday and at the Randolph Theater on Sunday.  For more information, go to www.belcantanti.com.  Drop me a line if you want to chat - I've been crazed and don't have internet access at my new house, but I will get there eventually!

And by the way, Carl, Paul, and Elohim get MASSIVE kudos for helping me move into my new place last month.  You guys rock.  :)

Bel Cantanti, Singing Superbly in a Place to Call Its Own

Monday, September 11, 2006; C03

Katerina Souvorova's ambitious Bel Cantanti Opera Company, a troupe of young up-and-coming singers, regularly programs two operas and two concerts of arias a year. Now it has found what it hopes will be a permanent home in the Randolph Road Theatre (the old Round House Theatre) in the Wheaton area, a nice, funky, small stage that should be ideal for the scale of its productions. It was there that the company opened its fourth season Friday, with a "Salut à la France," a concert of arias and ensembles from French operas.

All 13 company members got a chance to sing in the choruses from Bizet's "Carmen" and Donizetti's "La Fille du Régiment" (an opera that might not be French in origin, but certainly is in spirit). As might be expected, these are singers in varied stages of vocal development. Baritone Bryan Jackson projected enormous energy and considerable beauty in everything he touched, and was as compelling as Mephistopheles in "Le veau d'or" from Gounod's "Faust" as he was contemplative in his duet "Au fond du temple saint" from Bizet's "Les Pecheurs de Perles" with tenor Kevin Perry (who handled several ensemble assignments with assurance). Soprano Keesun Kwon gave a knock-out reading of the "Bell Song" from Delibes' "Lakme"; mezzo Jessica Renfro's Carmen in the "Habanera" aria was convincingly steamy and seductive; and soprano Rhea Walker lavished a warm sound and fine diction on Salome's aria "Il est doux, il est bon" from Massenet's "Herodiade."

Mezzo Abigail Wright delivered an aria from Ravel's "L'Heure Espagnole" with delicious flair backed up by splendid diction, and soprano Meghan McCall handled the "Chacun le sait" aria from "La Fille du Regiment" with humor and energy. Randa Rouweyha, Emily Ezzie and Cynthia Farbman were at their best in well-rehearsed ensemble numbers, and baritone David Krohn and mezzos Lingling Peng and Alexandra Christoforakis handled their assignments with determination and serious purpose. Souvorova accompanied all that with considerable flair on a small upright piano and managed to sound almost orchestral.

-- Joan Reinthaler

My review from the Washington Post

Our last weekend for Anne of the Thousand Days has arrived, and today's issue of the Washington Post reviewed the show and actually mentioned little old Mary Boleyn:

"There are some standouts in the rest of the cast. Most notably they are veteran actor Don Neal as a wily and charming Cardinal Wolsey, who fails to get the pope to annul Henry's first marriage to clear the way for Anne, and Abigail Wright, as a hotblooded and sensuous Mary Boleyn, Anne's sister and predecessor in Henry's bed."

You can view the entire review at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/25/AR2006072501891.html, and you can see the show at the Cramer Center in Manassas Friday and Saturday at 8pm or Sunday at 2pm. 

All I have to say is, me, hotblooded?  ;)

As I sit up without sleeping

As I sit up without sleeping tonight, I can't help but look at my life, past, present, and future. 

Two entries ago, I wrote a nebulous passage about the past and dwelling upon it.  I also wrote in May that the man I once believed to be my soul mate would be getting married July 22.  I guess that's officially today, isn't it?

Well, despite my ponderings, here I am.  My choices have led me to this place, just as other people's choices are leading them to marriage (congrats to Kara and Brett, by the way!).  Where is this place, anyway?  Well, I'm working hard to get my master's in opera performance, I'm acting in a straight play, and I'm working at a job where I can expand and perform my musical theater and jazz repertoire. 

The other day, I thought about a different part of my past - the opera choruses in which I worked for 5 years or so before coming back to get my 2nd degree.  I remember going to Les Miserables as a child and longing to be a part of the experience.  I remember admiring the choristers in their costumes, wishing I could someday perform on a stage like that for a living.  Yes, I do find it astounding that it took me this much time to recognize that I've already lived and am living a part of my childhood dream.

Yes, I'm working hard.  Yes, I have a long way to go.  No, I'm not what you might call well-endowed, financially speaking.  Far from it, in fact.  But what they don't tell you is that all of those things have their place in the life of a performer.  We love what we do, and we make sacrifices for the forever pursuit of a higher art - and for the pursuit of having the opportunities to present that art over the course of a lifetime. 

What am I complaining about?  Nothing, really - I have no idea.  I watched La Vita e Bella the other day.  Life is beautiful - and that definitely includes mine.  :)

Oh, and by the way, there are 2 more weekends of Anne of the Thousand Days,and I'll start posting my schedule at Mimi's soon, for those of you who have told me you want to come hear us sing.  :)  I love you guys...

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” -Epicurus (341 BC - 270 BC)

“It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.” -Robert H. Goddard (1882 - 1945)